Coffee Shop Hype

So, as you know by my repeditive claims of computer disuse, I don't go online at home very often (mainly b/c the unsecure network that I've always used doesn't seem to be allowing me full access anymore), so I'm sure you're all very proud that I've actually made changes to my page (all by myself I might add!).

Well, yesterday I decided to try to go to Starbucks to go online and actually do all the things on my computer that I never do.  Okay, so this was motivated by my DVR's inability to properly record 2 of my shows and I really just wanted to watch them, but whatever, I finally found the motivation.  So I go to the wretched coffee house (I hate coffee.  Really, really hate it.  Even the smell is disgusting to me) and I order my delicious hazelnut hot chocolate (I highly recommend this by the way) and go to set up my computer.  I even had my headphones so no one else was disturbed by me, I opened up my itunes so that I could listen to music while I set everything up and tried to get started.  Now, keep in mind before I went in I made sure that the window had the little "ATT Wifi" sign, thinking that meant that I could get free internet.

You techies must be laughing at me by now.  Let me just interject now that, first of all, I don't go in coffee shops, I just know that on TV people sit in coffee shops and play on their computers.  Secondly, I clearly have never tried to go online anywhere but my house.  So, as you may have guessed, I open up Explorer, and it gives me login info and differnet options. . . point is, I can't get online without paying for it.  Stupid Starbucks and stupid ATT and stupid coffee houses with their stupid false stereotypes!!!!

So my mom suggested that I go to McDonald's that now offers wifi.  Here's the thing with that.  I feel like when I walk out of places like that I have a thin layer of grease on me, and that's just gross.  Oh, and I also figured that they'd cheat me out of my free internet too.  So I went to my friend's shop and watched my shows on his computer (b/c low and behold their wireless seemed to stop working the moment that I walked into the shop.  Shocker).  While there, I also updated my Shelfari page (the dorkiest, most awesome site ever), and I finally cancelled my eharmony account (Really, what was I thinking??). 

This all took so long I didn't have time to work on this (let's just say that my day today allowed me access to this. . . which it normally doesn't, and we'll leave it at that) and I couldn't use my laptop so I couldn't download music. . . or go through all my emails.  Anyhoo, point is, I finally got to update this (you'll notice I even have the movie rating scale at the bottom of the page!!) and still need access to the freakin internet!!!  If I didn't already hate coffee, I'd boycott that place!!

So uh. . . where am I supposed to go for free internet?  Any suggetions that you guys can give me, your antiquated (I guessed on the spelling for that) blogger, I'd appreciate it!  Oh, and I really hate training classes that you take to get out of the office and the teacher is so slow that after more than 2 hours you're only on page 30 of the training book. . . that has over 160 pages!!!  There's no way I'm getting out early today!!!

UPDATE:  I got an email from Borders telling me that they have free internet, but isn't that dangerous???  Telling me to go to a bookstore and spend tons of time in there??  I never walk out of that place without bags of books. . . so dangerous.

So Long Sweet Pride

Last night I was cutting my friend's hair so he could go out for his birthday and he asked if I would join.  It was already about 8:30p by time he was leaving and I tried to not go, giving the sad but true excuse that I'm totally lame during the week and my pansy-ass requires that I go to bed at 10:30p during the week.  I was already pushing this deadline by the fact that I hadn't eaten dinner, showered, dried my hair or watched 90210 in preparation for my weekly run-down with my cousin (we are so behind on our discussions already!) and I only had 2 hours do such things.  There's no way I can go to a bar and be home in time!  Sad, right?  I sound like a freakin 80 year old, except I'm still capable of holding a hair dryer. 

 

But alas, my friend was very convincing and put his argument in terms that I could not deny, so I got ready and went.  I walk in and immediately run into our mutual friend who I begin to walk in with.  At this time apparently, one of the other boys (okay, I refer to all males as boys b/c, really. . . aren't they all?  No offense, I call all females girls.  That's what we are, girls and boys.  Period.  Yes, I maintain a kindergarten philosophy, but in all fairness, I maintain that level on many aspects of life, not just this one.  But this time it's true.  I may have failed to mention that the birthday boy was turning 22 and there were quite a number of people there that I really doubted their legal ability to be in such an establishment.  Okay, so I'm turning 33 in a week and a half and my perception of youngsters is getting as skewed as all people's do as they grow older). . . Oops, back to the story.  

 

So one of the boys says "Whose that talking to Jake?  She looks like a Hot Mom."  That's right, a Hot Mom.  Now, for most people my age (who actually are moms) this would be a pretty cool compliment.  I, however, do not have children.  The closest I come to being a mom is my friend's children and my little cousins.  But I'm not the Mom-figure.  I'm Nee Nee (pronounced Nay Nay, and don't even get me started on the fact that I spell my own nickname wrong.  It's my nickname, my choice.  Sorry.  Sore subject), the cool cousin that the kids freak out over every time they're told my age and it's not early 20's.  The one that takes my friend's kids on dates and teases that they're my boyfriend and the greatest date I've ever had (not entirely untrue). 

 

Not that being Hot Mom is an insult.  I know in my mind that it was a compliment, but in my heart?  Sigh.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Did you hear that?  That was the sound of my pride being stomped upon.  I feel like one of the Sex and the City girls being stomped down by the young clubbers in a sadly needed reminder of their actual age.  That's what happened to me.  So now I have to remind myself that I am in fact mom-aged, and that this was in fact a compliment.  It was just a heavy-handed one.  I guess the upside is, I can have kids and actually be the Hot Mom!!   Hmm, that may not happen for a while. . . .

Rating Scales, Computer Laziness and Stupidty

Just so you all know, I plan on putting my rating system on this website somewhere that people can see it regularly (as someone told me I can do), but again, I can only do that from home. . . well, not really home anymore b/c the person that I used their wireless internet from must have moved.  So until I actually go through the trouble of grabbing my computer and taking it to some other destination that has free wireless I can use, you'll have to look at previous reviews for the rating system, although it's fairly self-explanatory.  If it really takes a while, I'll occasionally re-copy it into the post.  I wouldn't hold my breath on any of this happening soon (like my eventual personalizing of the page). . . I don't like coffee, so that rules out a #1 excuse to sit in a internet-available establishment. . . and there's a lot of stuff on my dvr.  Maybe one day soon I'll go off about the inequity of good television distribution between seasons.  Oh well, you'll get used to my techno-hatred based laziness.  I've been used to it for years now.  Although I stupidly thought that internet dating would be a good idea.  What was I thinking???  I'll go months without even touching my computer at home!!  Really, that was one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had.  I put that one up there with stepping down onto the swivel chair (yes I actually did this) or agreeing to let my former roommate move in.  Don't even get me started on that one. . .

Couples Retreat Review (slightly sidetracked by my current reading dilema)

I don't know if I'm too cynical, too unattached (for way too long), or just not girly enough (really doubtful on that last one) but I didn't love Couples Retreat as much as everyone else seemed to, or as others expected to.  Maybe I just had too high of expectations. . . no, I purposely try to not get too excited about movies so that I'm not disappointed. 

 

Anyhoo, point is: It was cute, pretty funny (you really have Vince Vaughn to thank for that one) and generally amusing, but my overall feeling of it. . . eh (picture a slight shrug with the "eh").  Now, in all fairness, I've recently found myself uninterested in reading chick-lit (my favorite genre of all times) and have been annoyed with its predictability, common story lines and the trouble people get themselves into by doing stupid things, which really encapsulates the entire chick-lit formula. 

 

Is this temporary (I feel confident I just need to get sick of a different genre in order to get back to it) disinterest in chick-lit influencing my movie tastes too?  I don't think so.  I recently re-watched 27 Dresses and A Walk to Remember and still loved both, so that leaves me to believe that I really just wasn't too impressed with this movie.  Quite a long path to get to such a conclusion, huh?  Get used to it.  That's just how I roll. 

 

My overall conclusion is this:  It's a good date movie.  Something that chicks will find cute enough to "awww" at, and guys will find it funny enough to tolerate the "awww" moments.  They cover the "We've been married too long to remember we love each other" couple, the "We got married so long ago we now hate each other" couple, the "We're so anal retentive we sucked the life out of our marriage" couple and the "Newly divorced sad guy burying his loneliness in a 20 yr old hottie" guy.  I imagine couples will find some aspect of some couple that they relate to and even if they don't. . . hey, it's good entertainment that you and your date should both enjoy.  If you don't have someone you need to find a date movie with, I'd say you can wait for DVD.

Roller Girls Really Whip It!!!!

I went to see Whip It last night and now I have talk myself down from going to find roller skates and setting up cones in my apartment complex.  Seriously, as I'm watching this movie I'm forgetting my klutziness, my complete lack of coordination and my natural born talent for injuring myself in stupid ways (also why I've never gone down a slip & slide. . . too much potential for disaster).  Instead, all I can think about is going fast and checking some chick in the face with my elbow while jumping over a gaggle of girls that have just been taken down by fellow roller girls.  They make it look so fun!  Skating, comic-relief coaches, beer, food fights and violence-crazed teammates with rainbows in her hair. . . who wouldn't want that??  Aside from my unrealistic need to bring the movie to life in my own world (same thing happened when I first saw The Fast and the Furious.  Very dangerous for someone who already hates driving slow), it was generally just a fun and clever movie.   Everyone that went with me enjoyed it and we all seemed to agree that Drew Barrymore's directorial debut was an impressive success.  Considering I see most of the movies I do for free, my real compliment to a movie is to say that I'd be willing to pay to see it (especially since I'm always broke), and I have to say, I'd have paid to see this one!

 

*Overall opinion:  Theatre!  You may wonder if this rating applies to guys too.  Well, that one's actually a tough call.  Since I'm not a guy, I can't answer definitively but I can say that most guys tend to think that chicks in tiny outfits on skates beating the crap out of each other tends to be an appealing concept.  In that respect, yes, still theatre.  There's still the whole "chick falls for rocker guy" element (including a scene in a pool that was really well done and just looked pretty cool), reluctant beauty pageant entries and other "chick stuff," but I think that it's enough for a guy to tolerate.  So in the end, I'd say for guys:  Let's face it, you're never going to voluntarily try to see this on your own or with a group of your guy friends, but if some chick you know wants you to go see it with her, you won't mind.  Or if you want to see it but feel weird going to see it, ask a girl to go with you (Guy Rating:  Theatre (with a girl) or DVD).  I actually employ this method with kids/family/pre-teen movies. . . I borrow my little cousins to justify my attendance at such films.  It totally works.

 

*My rating scale for movies is: Theatre, DVD, Cable, Broadcast Network, or Never.  It's like a 5 star rating scale, but each "star" actually tells you what the movie is worth, rather than being a subjective opinion that not everyone would define the same.  Although, there may be the rare movie that falls into the "Maybe if You're On a Plane and You Forgot Your Book or The Headphones Are Free" category also.